Drowning
by LadyOctopusEmoji
Summary: Cas visits Dean's grave. Sad originally but gets a happy ending yay! Little bit destiely, but nothing too much so theres no mention of a relationship or anything. Set whenever, sometime after S9. Read inside! X


I'm thinking, I've been uploading soooooooo little lately that you guys deserve a little something, even if its only a tiny fic. Because if I where one of you following myself, I'd be tempted to unfollow me for what little content and then the bad quality of what little content being uploaded. So to try and convince you to stick around heres a fic. Since I love you all so much, I made it a destiel (I guess you could just read it was extreme bromance, but I like destiel so thats the way I see it sorry)

But here's the thing... The other day I was feeling really shitty so I decided to write a really angsty and sad fic and now I read it and just wow, I was seriously down apparently. So now I've fixed it with a happier ending, even in the most of it is still all angsty and sad. So this will probs maybe make you really sad at the start but hopefully a little happier at the end, so yay! As always, I love all of you guys and don't know what I'd do without you!

Many things aren't fair. From false imprisonment to which horse gets the ribbon. Overall yes, the universe is a very unfair place. What's the phrase? 'Life's a bitch, then you die.' Pretty much perfectly sums it up. That one sentence sums up everyone's life within the universe. Every single one.

But a select few very important, very special, and very unlucky individuals.

'Dean Winchester. A hero to all he met. Aged 41.' Read the cold stone. Newly erected, but grass already shrouded the mound. The stone itself was granite, as requested. The lettering was golden. It was all together a very beautiful resting place. Nearby, a gurgling stream swept past, and insects flew lazily around the flower patches dotted around. He would of loved it.

Castiel read the letters over and over again. He wanted so badly to not believe them. Trusting words shouldn't hurt this much. Nothing should hurt a being like him this much. What was one human, one insignificant speck, compared to his entire existence as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent? Nothing.

Or at least, it shouldn't be.

In truth though, Castiel felt like he was drowning. His breaths came quick and rapid, painful but meaningful. Angel hearts are not made to be touched, much less broken. Blue eyes raked the grass growing around the rock, green bland and dull compared to the splendour once held in his loved eyes'.

A car accident. Of all the angels, demons, hounds, ghouls, ghost, witches, leviathans, Gods and vampires to ever attack, a car crash would be the one to carry him from this life to the next. Castiel learnt long ago Fate had a cruel sense of irony.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times, curious to the unpleasant weight he felt in his gut. He could feel his throat constricting, making his breath come even harsher. Why did he feel so strange?

Was this grief? Why did it feel like the air had been knocked from his lungs? Why did his lips curl back, almost like a growl, only to make way for a pathetic and broken whimper?

Castiel, the angel who rebelled against heaven and helped to avert the apocalypse, crying over a human's absent heart beat?

Of course, the cold statue below the 6 feet of dirt between them wasn't just any human. Dean Winchester, the righteous man. The hero, the leader, the teacher. He taught Castiel how to feel, and ultimately how to fall. He'd won so many wars, fought so many horrors, Castiel often forgot he was finite. Fragile. Like China or porcelain. Of course, now here was the ultimate reminder of his limited existence. A stone bearing his carved name.

It wasn't enough. This man had given everything again and again for this retched reality. He deserved golden sculptures built in the shimmering plains of heaven modelling his wonder. He deserved a whole heavenly choir to sing his praises. He deserved anything and everything. But then again, many things aren't fair.

Castiel, when he was just a lowly seraph, trying to climb the ladder by going on a routine mission to raise a mortal from hell, would have thought the idea of missing a human laughable. He and Uriel would probably have made jokes about it (Uriel would have told the jokes, Castiel would have stood back and nodded his head to show his agreement) and mocked angels who even thought to fall so they could feel what humans did.

Now, Castiel looked back on his younger years and nearly weeped for how foolish and ignorant he was. Homo Sapiens, with their wooden spears and terrible poetry, their carved wheels and garbs of cloth. How strange that one fish Castiel once thought to step on, would end up ruling a world entrusted unto them by his own father. Castiel remembered Luke, and Peter, Paul and Simon. He remembered all the prophets, all the way until the youngest and bravest of them all, Kevin Tran. All told of the splendour of God and the wickedness of man. Humans, for their many faults and failing now never ceased to inspire the spark of a smile of Castiel's lips, but none more so than one particular human.

One human, who was now forever out of reach. What is the point in being a celestial being, if all you have to live for is rotting in the ground beneath your feet?

What was this pain? Emotions shouldn't hurt, they should heal! So why did the clenching in Castiel's gut become infinitely tighter when he brought to mind the green eyed hunter's smile? Just a little upturning of the corners of his mouth every now and again, or the occasional grin in the rare moments when grief didn't strike. Those smiles kept Castiel's hope in humanity alive, even if it knocked the air roughly from his lungs.

A 'crunch' came with leaves being trodden over behind the angel. Castiel whirled around suddenly, only to be confronted by the soft face of his returned father.

"Castiel. Why do you weep?" He asked. Castiel would have once flown for joy of his father's voice, but now only reminded him of the many times his hunter had cursed the silent witness unheard overhead.

With forlorn eyes still cast townwards, Castiel turned back to the stone, silently watching the lifetime cut short flash before him.

"Ah... You miss him." Deduced his father. His supposedly omni-benevolent father. Where was the passion He felt for the fallen in the dirt? He didn't once save a loved or cared for friend, so why does He deserve the prayers uttered by millions?. He watched them burn, like Sodemn and Gomarrah all over again. Once doubt would have felt foreign in Castiel's mind, an unwanted snake in his garden. Now he embraced the bubbling anger, silently begging for his father's wrathful vengeance to smite his unfaithful self, and relieve him of the drowning he experienced.

"I understand you are having doubts Castiel. After all... 'To er is human, to forgive divine'" He chuckled lamely at His own joke. At His most loved son's apathy, He sighed as worry etched into His bearded face.

"Castiel... How have I failed so that my own son may look upon me and see only a merciless brute? Have I mistaken and forsaken you so?" He asked. With a dull shake His head at another tear racing down Castiel's face, He decided.

With a snap of His fingers, a figure began striding towards the pair across the burial site. His father placed a comforting hand again Castiel's shoulder, who was now looking up with something akin to disbelief painting his features.

"This is the final time. You keep him safe, and yourself." His father spoke solemnly, aware that bending the rules for even just once more was wrong, yet unable to bear the site of hopelessness on Castiel's face anymore.

With a prideful smile He began walking away, leaving the reunited couple to greet. And as He neared the wall of the cemetery, looking back on the duo wrapped around each other clinging on as if nothing else mattered, Chuck saw all that he had made, and it was very good.

THERE YOU GO! What did you think? I hope it was ok...

so news time: I've entered the teen wolf fandom with a severe case of sterek, so you may expect a little tw from now on. As ever I am open to short requests (such as song fics and drabbles) so suggest whatever within teen wolf and supernatural now! AS EVER I LUUUUUURRRRVVVVVEEEEE YOU GUYS! STAY FROSTY XXX :3


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